My CV's rubbish, how do I improve it?

The reason your getting no where with it is because it's got a Personal Profile on it. Employers HATE those - I used to work in the post room of a large organisation and I was ordered by HR to throw the CV's with a profile on straight away BEFORE any Manager's saw them (it was a fast way of whittling applications down, for 1 job we had over 150 applications and by the time the ones with profiles on where gone they were 10 left - SERIOUSLY).